When you’re out and about and see screaming young kids, do you assume they’re ‘monsters’ and their parents lack control? Perhaps you’re less judgemental and wonder about the circumstances behind the screams?
We’d all like to be in that last category, wouldn’t we? But that’s not the experience of my Page 1 Woman. Whenever her autistic son became distressed in public, she found the level of intolerance quite shocking. As an invisible disability, unseen is unrecognised, right, especially when your child seems a picture of good health. But why was she shocked? She’d been intolerant too, before becoming a mum, she now admits. And gradually she learned tolerance and an appreciation of difference – ‘gifts’ from her son.
“The environment I worked in made me oblivious to many things that I'm now aware of. Now when I see parents struggling with young children I don't automatically think that child is a spoiled brat”.
Meet my Page 1 Woman, Lynne Stainthorpe, business owner and brand expert who’s worked with the likes of Unilever, Dulux Paint and B&Q. She feels an emotional bond with brands. “I relate to a brand as if it is a living, breathing entity, which has to be taken care of and has to evolve, and grow.”
Lynne Stainthorpe
Juggling the demands of business ownership alongside fighting for the right support for her son, and feeling it was left to her as his mum to shoulder the burden, hasn’t been easy. But she’s successful - in both areas - which only an extraordinary woman could do. But how did she do it? Keep reading to find out.
Describe your work?
Lynne: I’m a brand strategist, in Big Idea Brand Marketing, helping mainly consultants, coaches, and therapists, struggling to differentiate their business and define the value they offer their clients in a crowded marketplace. I help them define their brand, who it is, what it stands for, how it’s different, why it’s the best choice for their audience, in order to develop the identity, branding and messaging.
The brand is shorthand for how a business is perceived and what we associate with it. There are numerous definitions like ‘a brand is a promise’, or ‘the total of the stories, the products, the services, the benefits,’ etc. It's a summary of what makes a business meaningfully different.
We can influence how people perceive us through our messages, how we look, talk, and present ourselves, our websites and social media profiles. But we're not in control of their perceptions – or actions. Even when really big brands do a promotion, they aren’t in control of how others take it. Examples include Arsenal football team, whose Twitter campaign asked fans to personalize the new team shirts. For most fans, it was a great opportunity to have fun. But trolls put rude, far right messages on them. An example of putting yourself out there, all well-meaning but you can't control how people respond.
What was your greatest challenge on your journey and how did you overcome it?
Lynne: At around aged two, my son was diagnosed with autism. Being in an international role in a big company at the time, I travelled globally. And I was completely unaware of what systems, structures and frameworks were available to help him. And so began a journey of frustration and challenges in terms of getting a Statement of Educational Needs so that we could identify what education environments he needed and access support like speech & language therapy, and other support.
I couldn’t appreciate what a struggle that would be as I knew no-one with this type of invisible disability. There were social challenges when out and about with him, because people are intolerant towards mums and small, screaming children. The first reaction is tuts and ‘spoilt brat’, because there's no understanding that the cause could be sensitivity to touch or a loud environment.
And when he expressed a behavior due to autism, I’d say, "Sorry, he has autism." And the person who’d tutted would apologise. I thought, ‘If you were more tolerant, you wouldn’t need to apologise’.
When the company I worked for was sold, I took redundancy, so that I could re-evaluate and reappraise before taking another corporate job. Then I started consulting with businesses due to my son plus the circumstances. And that was the end of my career, part 1.
I really enjoyed my work and got a lot from it and wanted to care for and develop my children too. But as a working mom I always felt guilty. I managed it because work made me a better and more interesting person. So, it was better for my children if I was working.
But the added challenge was fighting. It wasn’t just about making sure you were present for important dates in your child's curriculum, it was also this added edge of insuring that he was getting the right therapies and support from the right people. It took a lot of time and energy, because there were tests to be done, appointments to be made, many people to speak to. So, it was distracting and depleting.
When my son was very young, professionals like the SEN and speech & language therapists were amazing. But, at home it felt as if it was all down to me as his mother. So I was the one who went to all the meetings. Do other women feel this? I don’t know. But I overcame that challenge by just carrying on. Consulting created more freedom with time management which made accessing services and individuals easier.
I remember going out for dinner with a couple of senior managers, who asked about my family. I realized I'd avoided talking about my son. So, I said, "I’ve two children and my son has autism." And one of them said, "My brother has autism too.” That was my breakthrough. Since then I’ve volunteered that information and people often say they know someone with autism.
Becoming more tolerant and understanding has encouraged my curiosity. I ask more questions in my work now and probe for a deeper understanding. That’s a gift my autistic son has given me.
What was your greatest lightbulb moment?
Lynne: I come from a marketing background so my focus was brands and marketing. After I set up my business in 2010, I realized that with the arrival of social media, marketing activities were multiplying, especially online - digital marketing, search engine optimization and sales promotions. And people were asking me if I did any of those things. Around 2012, I was travelling and suddenly I thought, ‘This is confusing. Why don't I just focus on brands and leave the rest, because that's what I love’. So, now I talk about brands, brand identity and brand messaging, all under the brand umbrella. It became easier to communicate because I had more clarity and focus, so people could understand my offer better.
What one resource was crucial to your success?
Lynne: When I'm working with a client on their brand strategy we explore how they've positioned their business and talk about their brand and the benefits they bring. My experience of working on products and services in different sectors means I’ve heard lots of answers to the same questions. So I now recognize when an answer is undifferentiated and just part of the herd. I also recognize when there’s the germ of a different idea and whether it’s different for the sake of it or because it's got meaning and relevance to the audience. I also take learning from one sector and apply it to another sector.
This resource has made me effective at helping businesses stand out in a way that’s consistent and true to who they are, what they believe in and what they stand for. If they’re the same as everyone else, they’ll disappear in the crowd.
What do you understand by leadership?
Lynne: Thinking about my best bosses, the qualities that come through are listening, providing frameworks and goals, and giving people the headspace to do their stuff so they can make their mark within that framework.
I didn’t see myself as a leader, more as someone providing an effective service, creating emotional and mental transformation, in terms of how people think about their business and giving them confidence to talk about what they do.
But now I see that as a mum of two children, fighting to get the needs of my son met and leading my business to success, make me a leader. I remember when in management, I always said to my reports, ‘It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s not okay to hide them. So when you know you've made a mistake the first thing you do is tell us. And then what we do together is make it right’. That’s an example of leadership.
Nowadays, I'm more aware that I have a role to play in influencing my clients to be clear about their business’ moral compass. So, I now focus on the importance of brand values, purpose and business behaviour.
What are your three top tips for women who want to be leaders in their field?
Lynne: First, be clear about what you want to be known for, who you’re serving, why you're doing it, and why it matters for them. This is the core of your business message. It will align with your vision, beliefs and values and will enable you to speak, write, and listen with clarity, and greater confidence and focus.
A brand has tangibles, such as products and services, social media posts, colours and a logo. But the three things that really differentiate a brand are the big intangibles - the purpose, values, and personality.
Second, be open to learning, because leaders don’t know everything and often we don't know what we don't know. You’ll get new perspectives and understanding and help with your self-development and your business growth.
Third, ask for support whether it's about work or personal stuff because often women don't ask. Support can come from advisers, coaches or mentors, or support with just cleaning up. It's easy to think we can do it all ourselves. But actually we should recognise the importance of support whether it's emotional or intellectual. The era of women having to do it all alone is over – at work and at home.
To find out more about Lynne and Big Idea Brand Marketing, click here.
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